Crash: I can't believe this. I tried to do it all right this time. All I wanted was a clean slate.

Grant: You know, you're the only one here who didn't already think you were dating Kyle.
Carter: It's kind of the obvious extension of nesting.
Elizabeth: We are not dating, we—it was a date.
Grant: That's not denial—that's a denial.
Taylor: Fifty percent of kids have parents who get divorced. I always wondered how the other half lived.
Carter: So you're just married and dating other people?
Taylor: Don't forget nesting.
Grant: Whose kinks should we expect tonight? Yours and Kyle's, or Dad's?
Taylor: This family needs a reality check.
Grant: You know on the seventh day, God rested, right?
Taylor: God wasn't in high school.
Taylor: Isn't Carter kind of the "go-to drug adviser"?
Grant: Yeah, but you're the "got-it-all-figured-out" advisor.
Shay: Is Goldlilocks going to snitch?
Crash: No, Max knows better than that.
Shay: For his sake, I hope so.
Shay: People like us don't get to decide. You can dress yourself up like those kids you used to deal to, you're never gonna be one of 'em.
Shay: Are you not hearin' me? There is no out!
Elizabeth: Max, Crash left you to die. Why do you care what happens to him?
Max: I guess… somewhere along the way, we accidentally became friends.
David: That's weird. You have another friend named "Crash"… because the Crash I know would never be staying at our house.
Max: You making somethin' special for dinner?
Taylor: I'm making myself disappear for dinner.
Max: You look very nice for your vanishing act.
Crash: I vote for adding Ramen. It's, like, the weed of the pasta family.
Carter: Well, every superhero needs a villain.
Elizabeth: There are no clean slates—not for any of us.
David: I have my own bias toward people who try to make up for their mistakes, and for people who love my daughter.
Carter: We have been through everything in this family, we have survived it all—seriously, what's left to be afraid of?
Elizabeth: Family matters, but sometimes, they don't always know what's best for us.
Elizabeth: I just want some peace.
Max: You know what, man, if you're gonna get the beenfits, maybe try bein' the friend, too.
Ofe: I'm ending things, because I think you might break my heart.
Crash: Maybe I'll finally get a fresh start somewhere.

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Episode quotes
Season 1 Pilot  •  The Birds  •  Drive  •  Now You See Me  •  The Heat  •  The Fugitive  •  Throw Momma From the Train  •  Half Baked  •  Do the Right Thing  •  Love Story  •  The Long Goodbye  •  One Hour Photo
Season 2 Love the Way You lie  •  Shut Up and Drive  •  We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together  •  Pretty When You Cry  •  Wake Up Call  •  Stay With Me  •  Something to Talk About  •  Riptide  •  I Knew You Were Trouble  •  Rumour Has It  •  2.11  •  2.12
Finding Carter: Quotes